








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2339 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2097 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1651 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1942 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,532 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Åkerskantz | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | L1lli | 59% | 56 |
| #3 | Birk0211 | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | Passters | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | Cermit | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Cermit | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | ✪ aHk | 55% | 29 |
| #7 | Sam | 52% | 65 |
| #8 | Tippex | 52% | 31 |
| #9 | Lion|s (ノ≧∀≦)ノ | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | L1lli | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ✪ aHk | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Passters | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Tippex | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 231 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | L1lli | 230 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Tippex | 136 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Passters | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Birk0211 | 52 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jon1s | +1.93 | 75 | 84 |
| #2 | Åkerskantz | +1.43 | 76 | 51 |
| #3 | Birk0211 | +1.15 | 88 | 44 |
| #4 | L1lli | -0.25 | 65 | 68 |
| #5 | Tippex | -0.36 | 73 | 71 |





