








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 733 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1026 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1196 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 897 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,034,298 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | beennniiii | 52% | 58 |
| #6 | timnick25 | 51% | 85 |
| #7 | Goratos | 50% | 48 |
| #8 | HAASTIG basby | 50% | 155 |
| #9 | Pulviinus | 49% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HAASTIG basby | 14 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | timnick25 | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Goratos | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Pulviinus | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | FEL1X | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HAASTIG basby | 459 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | timnick25 | 148 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Pulviinus | 139 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | FEL1X | 130 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Goratos | 120 | 0.13 | 3 min |





