








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11979 | 44% |
| Smokes | 5201 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6065 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3955 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,288,683 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bilk | 66% | 64 |
| #2 | HUNCHOJACK_ | 52% | 122 |
| #3 | Dexie | 52% | 230 |
| #4 | [I.Y.M.] 2Shrew CS.MONEY | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bilk | 66% | 64 |
| #2 | HUNCHOJACK_ | 52% | 122 |
| #3 | Dexie | 52% | 230 |
| #4 | [I.Y.M.] 2Shrew CS.MONEY | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dexie | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | HUNCHOJACK_ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | bilk | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | [I.Y.M.] 2Shrew CS.MONEY | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dexie | 694 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | [I.Y.M.] 2Shrew CS.MONEY | 237 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | bilk | 188 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | HUNCHOJACK_ | 139 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bilk | +2.78 | 89 | 44 |
| #2 | Dexie | +1.57 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | TnTTbone | +1.55 | 67 | 70 |
| #4 | HUNCHOJACK_ | +0.53 | 74 | 56 |
| #5 | [I.Y.M.] 2Shrew CS.MONEY | -1.12 | 49 | 66 |





