








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1072 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 793 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10055 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8973 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 10870 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8886 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,952,408 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 584 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alexnaderz | 54% | 285 |
| #2 | Llama.goSu | 52% | 181 |
| #3 | h0tpoint Aniston | 48% | 131 |
| #4 | molen | 47% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alexnaderz | 54% | 285 |
| #2 | Llama.goSu | 52% | 181 |
| #3 | h0tpoint Aniston | 48% | 131 |
| #4 | molen | 47% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0tpoint Aniston | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Llama.goSu | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | molen | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | alexnaderz | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alexnaderz | 1023 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #2 | Llama.goSu | 767 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #3 | h0tpoint Aniston | 299 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | molen | 209 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0tpoint Aniston | +2.42 | 66 | 63 |
| #2 | alexnaderz | +1.75 | 72 | 71 |
| #3 | Llama.goSu | +0.11 | 63 | 78 |
| #4 | molen | -0.97 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | sashkkkaaa | -1.13 | 45 | 74 |





