








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 773 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 376 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7727 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4812 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4307 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3178 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $807,362 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | !v3t3R_ | 57% | 44 |
| #3 | Llama.goSu | 55% | 161 |
| #4 | sashkkkaaa | 54% | 285 |
| #5 | molen | 51% | 105 |
| #6 | h0tpoint Aniston | 47% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sashkkkaaa | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | h0tpoint Aniston | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | !v3t3R_ | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Llama.goSu | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | molen | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Llama.goSu | 659 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | sashkkkaaa | 605 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #3 | h0tpoint Aniston | 237 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | molen | 171 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | !v3t3R_ | 132 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0tpoint Aniston | +1.32 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | alexnaderz | +1.25 | 72 | 71 |
| #3 | !v3t3R_ | +0.68 | 68 | 68 |
| #4 | Llama.goSu | +0.17 | 63 | 78 |
| #5 | molen | -1.03 | 67 | 52 |





