








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1577 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1481 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 898 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1196 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $164,801 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | metskixd | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | FizzN | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | swaggerhacker?2 | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | Schub | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Atlas | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | swaggerhacker?2 | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | Schub | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Atlas | 61% | 18 |
| #6 | ♔ | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | sportyred | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♔ | 2 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | Atlas | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | FizzN | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Schub | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | sportyred | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FizzN | 106 | 0.41 | 3 min |
| #2 | Schub | 32 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | metskixd | 26 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♔ | 23 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | swaggerhacker?2 | 15 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heimdal369 | +2.49 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | sportyred | +1.87 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | FizzN | +1.52 | 81 | 71 |
| #4 | swaggerhacker?2 | +1.46 | 91 | 49 |
| #5 | metskixd | +1.43 | 60 | 72 |





