








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Renown | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4477 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2755 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1524 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2248 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,925 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swaggerhacker?2 | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Heimdal369 | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | killerkongen | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | 問 K1nq 問 | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | luN | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | BigJohn | 54% | 35 |
| #8 | GingerGoneMad | 46% | 57 |
| #9 | THOMZZHS | 44% | 61 |
| #10 | SneakyPete | 43% | 51 |
| #11 | amplex +} | 40% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigJohn | 11 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | SneakyPete | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Heimdal369 | 5 | 0.0194 |
| #4 | luN | 3 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | killerkongen | 3 | 0.0148 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THOMZZHS | 125 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | SneakyPete | 104 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | BigJohn | 84 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | amplex +} | 57 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | GingerGoneMad | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luN | +2.62 | 82 | 53 |
| #2 | THOMZZHS | +2.32 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | FizzN | +1.82 | 81 | 76 |
| #4 | swaggerhacker?2 | +1.65 | 88 | 52 |
| #5 | Heimdal369 | +1.34 | 90 | 41 |





