








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,870 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1451 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4246 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 2101 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2072 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,171,473 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 692 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ͜ | 81% | 27 |
| #2 | anomalouS | 74% | 38 |
| #3 | wraith | 57% | 260 |
| #4 | timittotheburrito | 49% | 232 |
| #5 | tja_✶ | 48% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ͜ | 81% | 27 |
| #2 | anomalouS | 74% | 38 |
| #3 | wraith | 57% | 260 |
| #4 | timittotheburrito | 49% | 232 |
| #5 | tja_✶ | 48% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wraith | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | tja_✶ | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | timittotheburrito | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wraith | 337 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | timittotheburrito | 260 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | tja_✶ | 158 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | anomalouS | 55 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ͜ | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ͜ | +8.64 | 80 | 11 |
| #2 | anomalouS | +3.07 | 71 | 58 |
| #3 | wraith | +2.39 | 72 | 54 |
| #4 | timittotheburrito | +0.91 | 58 | 45 |
| #5 | kaluhm | -0.44 | 67 | 44 |





