








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 74 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 725 | 25% |
| Smokes | 687 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 734 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 722 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $455,581 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saarol2 | 78% | 23 |
| #2 | emy | 69% | 45 |
| #3 | Tony | 69% | 48 |
| #4 | PePe | 65% | 40 |
| #5 | eliapatasa | 65% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | eliapatasa | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | emy | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | PePe | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Saarol2 | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cats | 277 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #2 | PePe | 185 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Tony | 183 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jude⛟ | 175 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | emy | 129 | 0.12 | 3 min |





