








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 75 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 503 | 22% |
| Smokes | 692 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 535 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 562 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $415,918 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PePe | 76% | 45 |
| #2 | Saarol2 | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | Tony | 70% | 47 |
| #4 | emy | 70% | 40 |
| #5 | Jude⛟ | 65% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PePe | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | cats | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cats | 311 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #2 | PePe | 223 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Tony | 189 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jude⛟ | 184 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | emelz99 | 118 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eliapatasa | +2.69 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Jude⛟ | +2.48 | 61 | 79 |
| #3 | cats | +2.32 | 85 | 81 |
| #4 | emelz99 | +1.12 | 70 | 53 |
| #5 | PePe | -0.72 | 65 | 61 |





