








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 260 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3142 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3148 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2011 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2882 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,042,122 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M0S_ | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | sLamu | 51% | 213 |
| #3 | Get_Left | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | Gubbe | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | BqreBedre S<3 | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M0S_ | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | sLamu | 51% | 213 |
| #3 | Get_Left | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | Gubbe | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | BqreBedre S<3 | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLamu | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #2 | Gubbe | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLamu | 518 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | Get_Left | 241 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Gubbe | 164 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | BqreBedre S<3 | 110 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | M0S_ | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLamu | +0.63 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | Thom | +0.60 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | BqreBedre S<3 | -0.40 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | M0S_ | -1.19 | 61 | 62 |
| #5 | Gubbe | -1.32 | 60 | 67 |





