








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1163 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 48,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11695 | 24% |
| Smokes | 14401 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 9466 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 12835 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,963,414 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fjeldal | 62% | 66 |
| #2 | 𝖒ᴜɴᴄʜ | 62% | 84 |
| #3 | VesteR | 60% | 136 |
| #4 | Tjeller | 58% | 64 |
| #5 | Tr1plex | 58% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BqreBedre S<3 | 57% | 80 |
| #7 | ✪§Blank§™🍃 | 55% | 65 |
| #8 | Gubbe | 54% | 290 |
| #9 | Get_Left | 52% | 147 |
| #10 | Thom | 51% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thom | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | ✪§Blank§™🍃 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Gubbe | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | 𝖒ᴜɴᴄʜ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Get_Left | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubbe | 925 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #2 | Get_Left | 818 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #3 | Thom | 784 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #4 | VesteR | 532 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #5 | BqreBedre S<3 | 401 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLamu | +1.23 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | BqreBedre S<3 | +1.04 | 71 | 75 |
| #3 | Fjeldal | +0.76 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | VesteR | +0.48 | 64 | 71 |
| #5 | Gubbe | +0.41 | 69 | 66 |





