








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 503 | 30% |
| Smokes | 340 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 524 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 283 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $82,795 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eybe | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Ghosty4k ヤン | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | .+*ben dover*+. | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | .+*Moe Lester*+. | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Fuck You Fucking Fuck | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eybe | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Ghosty4k ヤン | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | .+*ben dover*+. | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | .+*Moe Lester*+. | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Fuck You Fucking Fuck | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .+*Moe Lester*+. | 7 | 0.0203 |
| #2 | Ghosty4k ヤン | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Fuck You Fucking Fuck | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | .+*ben dover*+. | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghosty4k ヤン | 100 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Fuck You Fucking Fuck | 54 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | .+*Moe Lester*+. | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | .+*ben dover*+. | 17 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eybe | +7.81 | 91 | 74 |
| #2 | Ghosty4k ヤン | +2.25 | 59 | 64 |
| #3 | Wuush | +1.53 | 54 | 64 |
| #4 | .+*Moe Lester*+. | -0.33 | 61 | 53 |
| #5 | .+*ben dover*+. | -3.39 | 23 | 42 |





