








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1030 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1018 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1383 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 909 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,109 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Wepnet | 57% | 7 |
| #6 | .+*Moe Lester*+. | 53% | 30 |
| #7 | .+*ben dover*+. | 52% | 21 |
| #8 | Wuush | 52% | 33 |
| #9 | Fuck You Fucking Fuck | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wuush | 11 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | .+*Moe Lester*+. | 7 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Fuck You Fucking Fuck | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | .+*ben dover*+. | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | WANTED | 1 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wuush | 104 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | .+*Moe Lester*+. | 83 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Fuck You Fucking Fuck | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | .+*ben dover*+. | 27 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | eybe | 21 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p0tti | +2.26 | 87 | 36 |
| #2 | eybe | +2.10 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | Wuush | +1.26 | 54 | 66 |
| #4 | Ghosty4k ヤン | +1.18 | 58 | 66 |
| #5 | .+*Moe Lester*+. | +0.91 | 67 | 57 |





