








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1509 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




107 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8554 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10873 | 41% |
| Smokes | 7583 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2714 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 5550 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,116,711 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bondo Reems | 61% | 41 |
| #2 | manx^ | 60% | 85 |
| #3 | barrett | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | Cylon Jiggy | 55% | 141 |
| #5 | AcousticallyAutistic | 53% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | barrett | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | Cylon Jiggy | 55% | 141 |
| #5 | AcousticallyAutistic | 53% | 145 |
| #6 | Gaper Bingzoid | 52% | 77 |
| #7 | AFK✪ | 49% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AcousticallyAutistic | 53 | 0.0187 |
| #2 | AFK✪ | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Gaper Bingzoid | 10 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Cylon Jiggy | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | manx^ | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AFK✪ | 372 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | manx^ | 313 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | AcousticallyAutistic | 264 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Cylon Jiggy | 221 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | barrett | 75 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ree Tardy Oswald | +2.35 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | manx^ | +1.73 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | barrett | +1.33 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | Cylon Jiggy | +1.11 | 69 | 53 |
| #5 | AFK✪ | +0.44 | 68 | 63 |





