








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 741 | 32% |
| Smokes | 419 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 336 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 794 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $396,194 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bondo Reems | 53% | 98 |
| #2 | Cylon Jiggy | 52% | 165 |
| #3 | Ree Tardy Oswald | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | AFK✪ | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bondo Reems | 53% | 98 |
| #2 | Cylon Jiggy | 52% | 165 |
| #3 | Ree Tardy Oswald | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | AFK✪ | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ree Tardy Oswald | 13 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Cylon Jiggy | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | AFK✪ | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Bondo Reems | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cylon Jiggy | 318 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | Ree Tardy Oswald | 300 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Bondo Reems | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | AFK✪ | 61 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ree Tardy Oswald | +2.80 | 81 | 71 |
| #2 | Cylon Jiggy | +2.04 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | Gaper Bingzoid | -0.02 | 56 | 40 |
| #4 | Bondo Reems | -0.69 | 63 | 30 |
| #5 | AFK✪ | -0.74 | 74 | 66 |





