








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3574 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2661 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2185 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1317 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1258 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $670,159 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jolly Roger | 65% | 17 |
| #7 | Elite | 60% | 43 |
| #8 | Monkeysaso | 60% | 15 |
| #9 | yalenzz | 59% | 17 |
| #10 | Ric Flair Drip | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Real | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | HaVoc_Aris | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Elite | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ♡ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Jolly Roger | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ | 307 | 0.44 | 8 min |
| #2 | Real | 172 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #3 | Elite | 162 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ric Flair Drip | 121 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #5 | Monkeysaso | 97 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acinic | +4.96 | 94 | 52 |
| #2 | ✪ thE pLuG | +3.10 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | Real | +2.17 | 87 | 70 |
| #4 | ♡ | +1.23 | 59 | 75 |
| #5 | Jolly Roger | +1.22 | 68 | 60 |





