








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1475 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1561 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1099 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1306 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,757 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sn0wキ | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Dan, the e-girl | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | TheGhoulette | 58% | 79 |
| #4 | PeNguiN5 - stratbase.app | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | onow | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dan, the e-girl | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | TheGhoulette | 58% | 79 |
| #4 | PeNguiN5 - stratbase.app | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | onow | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | toeBlunt | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheGhoulette | 16 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | PeNguiN5 - stratbase.app | 3 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | onow | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheGhoulette | 257 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | PeNguiN5 - stratbase.app | 38 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | toeBlunt | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | sn0wキ | 26 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | onow | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitty | +3.29 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | PeNguiN5 - stratbase.app | +2.49 | 66 | 46 |
| #3 | sn0wキ | +1.83 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | TheGhoulette | +0.74 | 86 | 46 |
| #5 | onow | +0.50 | 93 | 56 |





