








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1641 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1738 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2271 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2986 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $861,595 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2012 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣Plankton☣ | 58% | 52 |
| #2 | No Morot | 57% | 46 |
| #3 | 🎂bagarburman🧁 | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Vackra Birgitta | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | ☣Karlsson☣ | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kekke | 16 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Gabrielsson ☃ | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | No Morot | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | horunge | 4 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | ☣Plankton☣ | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gabrielsson ☃ | 335 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | ุุ | 163 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | No Morot | 113 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kekke | 104 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | ☣Plankton☣ | 81 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunken ♿ | +7.63 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | No Morot | +5.49 | 73 | 43 |
| #3 | ☣Plankton☣ | +4.63 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | Gabrielsson ☃ | +4.07 | 55 | 61 |
| #5 | ุุ | +1.33 | 24 | 71 |





