








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 990 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1603 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1531 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2113 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1601 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $954,168 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 661 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snowflako | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | Hus | 56% | 172 |
| #3 | bark bark | 50% | 123 |
| #4 | Zyks | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snowflako | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | Hus | 56% | 172 |
| #3 | bark bark | 50% | 123 |
| #4 | Zyks | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bark bark | 16 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Hus | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Zyks | 12 | 0.0215 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hus | 774 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | bark bark | 526 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | Snowflako | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Zyks | 89 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Pato | +2.83 | 67 | 63 |
| #2 | Hus | +1.85 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | bark bark | -0.21 | 65 | 50 |
| #4 | Zyks | -1.58 | 53 | 46 |
| #5 | Snowflako | -5.66 | 7 | 29 |





