








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1082 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,533 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1534 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1446 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1470 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1083 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,850 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | andalusia | 65% | 17 |
| #8 | I go to school by hellcase.com | 64% | 14 |
| #9 | skimwow | 60% | 104 |
| #10 | mKCheUNgi | 59% | 82 |
| #11 | EDGgoDie | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skimwow | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | EDGgoDie | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Blues. | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skimwow | 415 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | mKCheUNgi | 292 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Blues. | 152 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | EDGgoDie | 149 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | I go to school by hellcase.com | 68 | 0.24 | 2 min |





