








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,513 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2268 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1321 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 786 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1138 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,716 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Florian R. | 67% | 39 |
| #3 | mKCheUNgi | 65% | 185 |
| #4 | skimwow | 65% | 185 |
| #5 | Kenny | 65% | 17 |
| #6 | EDGgoDie | 60% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mKCheUNgi | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | skimwow | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | EDGgoDie | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Florian R. | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Kenny | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skimwow | 886 | 0.25 | 21 min |
| #2 | mKCheUNgi | 858 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #3 | EDGgoDie | 378 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Florian R. | 117 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kenny | 50 | 0.16 | 2 min |





