








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 181 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4088 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2585 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2287 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2495 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2889 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $853,074 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tangz | 78% | 23 |
| #2 | Roger that. | 76% | 17 |
| #3 | himothy | 76% | 29 |
| #4 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 73% | 15 |
| #5 | BBruse | 72% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | M0nstr | 64% | 50 |
| #12 | J13K | 63% | 19 |
| #13 | fer | 62% | 29 |
| #14 | Jar | 61% | 28 |
| #15 | Auser | 60% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fer | 6 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | cobalt | 6 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | himothy | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | russel van dinken | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Auser | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BBruse | 297 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | Auser | 258 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | J13K | 137 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #4 | M0nstr | 131 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | t8te | 112 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | russel van dinken | +3.64 | 92 | 60 |
| #2 | J13K | +2.29 | 86 | 69 |
| #3 | tangz | +1.99 | 81 | 72 |
| #4 | lattzera | +1.89 | 90 | 66 |
| #5 | Frowan | +1.69 | 87 | 61 |





