








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 142 matches | ||
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6200 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5339 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3908 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4353 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,939,393 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 402 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeeYesGo | 64% | 73 |
| #2 | tha chubbsta | 62% | 47 |
| #3 | Kens | 61% | 97 |
| #4 | alexsntsv | 60% | 50 |
| #5 | Dilemma | 59% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | denial off the galaxy gas | 18 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | butterscotch | 17 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Ghostie-Kun | 17 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | tha chubbsta | 15 | 0.0164 |
| #5 | 黑暗幽灵 | 14 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | denial off the galaxy gas | 498 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | 黑暗幽灵 | 192 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | !Flop | 189 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | butterscotch | 185 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | stickytip42 | 141 | 0.16 | 3 min |





