








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1677 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1290 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1383 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 921 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $947,487 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SKRULL | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | nvrm1nd | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | h1ver | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | "CS.PRO" (>_<) | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Butarros | 53% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ♛V4C♛ | 51% | 35 |
| #7 | 🆅🅸🅻🅻🅰🅸🅽 | 51% | 70 |
| #8 | ◣RafaelDzn◥ | 48% | 65 |
| #9 | ☯︎ Covas | 42% | 92 |
| #10 | jkr_dA_King | 37% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🆅🅸🅻🅻🅰🅸🅽 | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | ◣RafaelDzn◥ | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | ☯︎ Covas | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | jkr_dA_King | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Butarros | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◣RafaelDzn◥ | 312 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | ☯︎ Covas | 278 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | SKRULL | 176 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #4 | jkr_dA_King | 156 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Butarros | 136 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Butarros | +3.03 | 85 | 48 |
| #2 | h1ver | +2.09 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | aAa price | +1.87 | 74 | 55 |
| #4 | ☯︎ Covas | +1.84 | 69 | 65 |
| #5 | SKRULL | +1.21 | 77 | 74 |





