








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 302 | 31% |
| Smokes | 203 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 251 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 234 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $70,672 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morby | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Shirtless-Requis | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Tom | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Bob | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | Ben | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ben | 46% | 24 |
| #6 | Halooooooooooooooow | 43% | 30 |
| #7 | hellsjock | 42% | 24 |
| #8 | Darren1379 | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Gecon (General Shiro Ishii) | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | 13 | 0.0254 |
| #2 | Halooooooooooooooow | 6 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Ben | 6 | 0.0151 |
| #4 | Tom | 3 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | hellsjock | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | 54 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | Halooooooooooooooow | 48 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Bob | 34 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | hellsjock | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gecon (General Shiro Ishii) | 29 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | +7.99 | 91 | 60 |
| #2 | Gecon (General Shiro Ishii) | +3.11 | 84 | 51 |
| #3 | Bob | +2.94 | 80 | 57 |
| #4 | Morby | +2.52 | 75 | 53 |
| #5 | Ben | +0.89 | 64 | 20 |





