








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 782 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 144 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Wingman | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




302 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,634 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9878 | 44% |
| Smokes | 4476 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6399 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1881 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,528,544 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 937 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | azer_ | 50% | 185 |
| #2 | Casrow | 45% | 362 |
| #3 | BunnyHopOneTap360CockSlap | 45% | 459 |
| #4 | Poop | 38% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | azer_ | 50% | 185 |
| #2 | Casrow | 45% | 362 |
| #3 | BunnyHopOneTap360CockSlap | 45% | 459 |
| #4 | Poop | 38% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BunnyHopOneTap360CockSlap | 129 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | Casrow | 78 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Poop | 48 | 0.0146 |
| #4 | azer_ | 27 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Casrow | 879 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | Poop | 638 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | BunnyHopOneTap360CockSlap | 540 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #4 | azer_ | 460 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | azer_ | +5.22 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | Casrow | +1.59 | 71 | 50 |
| #3 | BunnyHopOneTap360CockSlap | +1.09 | 62 | 42 |
| #4 | Barry MacCockiner | -2.67 | 32 | 60 |
| #5 | Poop | -3.37 | 16 | 35 |





