








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1075 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5453 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2379 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3843 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3448 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,258,755 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1491 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeth- | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | Casrow | 56% | 275 |
| #3 | $tele | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | BunnyHopOneTap360CockSlap | 51% | 399 |
| #5 | Barry MacCockiner | 50% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Casrow | 56% | 275 |
| #3 | $tele | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | BunnyHopOneTap360CockSlap | 51% | 399 |
| #5 | Barry MacCockiner | 50% | 185 |
| #6 | Poop | 48% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BunnyHopOneTap360CockSlap | 79 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Barry MacCockiner | 73 | 0.0198 |
| #3 | Poop | 33 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Casrow | 32 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | $tele | 6 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barry MacCockiner | 741 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | Casrow | 719 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | Poop | 569 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | BunnyHopOneTap360CockSlap | 531 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #5 | $tele | 189 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | azer_ | +3.23 | 78 | 57 |
| #2 | $tele | +2.82 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | jeth- | +1.36 | 86 | 51 |
| #4 | BunnyHopOneTap360CockSlap | +0.30 | 63 | 45 |
| #5 | Casrow | -0.20 | 70 | 54 |





