










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 953 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 134 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




198 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3542 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5231 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2495 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4105 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,180,196 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | azer_ | 51% | 399 |
| #2 | Casrow | 51% | 409 |
| #3 | C4sr0w | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | Barry MacCockiner | 45% | 459 |
| #5 | Poop | 42% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | azer_ | 51% | 399 |
| #2 | Casrow | 51% | 409 |
| #3 | C4sr0w | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | Barry MacCockiner | 45% | 459 |
| #5 | Poop | 42% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barry MacCockiner | 202 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | Poop | 63 | 0.0139 |
| #3 | Casrow | 61 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | azer_ | 45 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | C4sr0w | 14 | 0.0168 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barry MacCockiner | 1890 | 0.21 | 45 min |
| #2 | Casrow | 1081 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #3 | azer_ | 1040 | 0.13 | 24 min |
| #4 | Poop | 844 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #5 | C4sr0w | 116 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | azer_ | +3.63 | 79 | 56 |
| #2 | BunnyHopOneTap360CockSlap | +0.81 | 64 | 44 |
| #3 | C4sr0w | +0.51 | 69 | 45 |
| #4 | Casrow | +0.40 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | Barry MacCockiner | -3.11 | 32 | 60 |





