








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 928 | 27% |
| Smokes | 995 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 649 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 917 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $311,194 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CyrM¤ | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | The White Death | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | ✪ Cαяℓσѕ | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Nexjye | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Simp. 165Hz | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | JezyyTV | 43% | 7 |
| #14 | Kyllian Mraté | 43% | 7 |
| #15 | Knekess | 38% | 8 |
| #16 | CHOURIK3N | 33% | 6 |
| #17 | C-L-3-M | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHOURIK3N | 2 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | LEFTCLICHERXD | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Nexjye | 1 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Knekess | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEFTCLICHERXD | 58 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | ✪ Cαяℓσѕ | 52 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kyllian Mraté | 46 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #4 | id9m ツ | 44 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | C-L-3-M | 40 | 0.15 | 2 min |





