








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3329 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3120 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2339 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2309 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,688 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Booyah | 42% | 111 |
| #8 | Anakin Skinwalker | 42% | 106 |
| #9 | eidzoor66 | Dead Inside | 38% | 86 |
| #10 | ✪Vince✪ | 35% | 20 |
| #11 | Sped Racer | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doughboy | 32 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | Booyah | 23 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Joeyy#AD | 10 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Anakin Skinwalker | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | eidzoor66 | Dead Inside | 7 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anakin Skinwalker | 473 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | Doughboy | 307 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | eidzoor66 | Dead Inside | 260 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Booyah | 213 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Joeyy#AD | 179 | 0.19 | 4 min |





