








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2692 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1426 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 465 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1458 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $312,883 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | wormdriller | 37% | 57 |
| #10 | hayooB | 36% | 42 |
| #11 | Primerfalls | 33% | 21 |
| #12 | Who Decided That | 31% | 16 |
| #13 | Shelbik | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 42 | 0.0200 |
| #2 | Noname | 21 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | hayooB | 12 | 0.0150 |
| #4 | GloobySmoobyDoobyBooby | 11 | 0.0210 |
| #5 | HeresthebleacH | 5 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 344 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Noname | 186 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Noname | 147 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | wormdriller | 126 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | GloobySmoobyDoobyBooby | 122 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GloobySmoobyDoobyBooby | +2.58 | 55 | 51 |
| #2 | Widebody Hellcat Gaming | +1.42 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | Shelbik | +1.25 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | HeresthebleacH | +1.23 | 79 | 55 |
| #5 | wormdriller | +0.79 | 57 | 55 |





