








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,758 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1726 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2936 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1480 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2616 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $632,808 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sellular | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | DaBeanstalk | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | tiggy | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | qwbii | 67% | 21 |
| #5 | Mo Bama | 63% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Nato | 53% | 17 |
| #8 | ☢Mastur247 | 52% | 31 |
| #9 | Zuchii | 50% | 16 |
| #10 | gigahorker69 | 50% | 18 |
| #11 | Lx | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuchii | 7 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | ☢Mastur247 | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | gigahorker69 | 3 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Lx | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Mo Bama | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qwbii | 76 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Lx | 54 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sellular | 53 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Reload Nac | 50 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zuchii | 48 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mo Bama | +2.85 | 84 | 55 |
| #2 | DaBeanstalk | +1.68 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | Reload Nac | +1.20 | 60 | 45 |
| #4 | qwbii | +1.13 | 64 | 43 |
| #5 | Sellular | +0.87 | 69 | 66 |





