








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1754 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1595 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1597 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1698 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $809,223 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 718 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOMIE | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | aido | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Castilla | 56% | 63 |
| #4 | M- | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | a̵v̶r̷a̸m̵ | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOMIE | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | aido | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Castilla | 56% | 63 |
| #4 | M- | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | a̵v̶r̷a̸m̵ | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOMIE | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Castilla | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | M- | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Castilla | 337 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | M- | 89 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | HOMIE | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | a̵v̶r̷a̸m̵ | 25 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | aido | 22 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOMIE | +0.67 | 65 | 54 |
| #2 | M- | +0.38 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | Castilla | +0.26 | 54 | 75 |
| #4 | bikebike | +0.25 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | a̵v̶r̷a̸m̵ | -0.00 | 67 | 35 |





