








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7765 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7331 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7246 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5473 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $860,636 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 421 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SneakyKid | 62% | 398 |
| #7 | Nkae | 60% | 105 |
| #8 | ems | 58% | 299 |
| #9 | moRrow | 57% | 99 |
| #10 | Lazarus | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juantonio | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | ems | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | SneakyKid | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | DETER | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Dr.Phil | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SneakyKid | 1172 | 0.14 | 33 min |
| #2 | Juantonio | 1152 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #3 | Dr.Phil | 621 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #4 | ems | 615 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #5 | moRrow | 454 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DARKO-1[5lyfe] | +2.71 | 84 | 76 |
| #2 | Nkae | +1.88 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | Juantonio | +1.40 | 67 | 73 |
| #4 | brady | +0.36 | 74 | 72 |
| #5 | DETER | +0.23 | 68 | 65 |





