








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
843 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 449 | 17% |
| Smokes | 762 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 772 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 616 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,563 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | WOW JOCKE! | 40% | 43 |
| #5 | joaquin guzman | 36% | 25 |
| #6 | Svisse | 35% | 46 |
| #7 | *MaggiE* | 32% | 38 |
| #8 | TATTARE | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *MaggiE* | 8 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | WOW JOCKE! | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | ∀npı ǝuɾoʎǝɹ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Svisse | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | joaquin guzman | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ∀npı ǝuɾoʎǝɹ | 261 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | *MaggiE* | 149 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Svisse | 142 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | WOW JOCKE! | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | joaquin guzman | 62 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WOW JOCKE! | +2.25 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | Svisse | +0.93 | 61 | 72 |
| #3 | *MaggiE* | +0.78 | 61 | 63 |
| #4 | Tuttfläsk | -0.16 | 54 | 75 |
| #5 | SKRUTTIS | -0.17 | 66 | 51 |





