








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,885 | |
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1568 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2155 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1866 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1346 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $842,466 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *MaggiE* | 49% | 119 |
| #2 | ∀npı ǝuɾoʎǝɹ | 45% | 29 |
| #3 | joaquin guzman | 44% | 70 |
| #4 | Svisse | 43% | 90 |
| #5 | Tuttfläsk | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *MaggiE* | 442 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | joaquin guzman | 246 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Svisse | 224 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tuttfläsk | 180 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | ∀npı ǝuɾoʎǝɹ | 152 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WOW JOCKE! | +2.28 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | *MaggiE* | +1.26 | 62 | 60 |
| #3 | Svisse | +0.03 | 65 | 65 |
| #4 | SKRUTTIS | -0.23 | 65 | 46 |
| #5 | joaquin guzman | -0.54 | 70 | 69 |





