








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 793 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4099 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3354 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2874 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3152 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,121,135 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bappers | 62% | 53 |
| #2 | Ardy | 59% | 135 |
| #3 | Vonツ | 55% | 201 |
| #4 | Sloths | 55% | 141 |
| #5 | Dylan Meta | 49% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bappers | 62% | 53 |
| #2 | Ardy | 59% | 135 |
| #3 | Vonツ | 55% | 201 |
| #4 | Sloths | 55% | 141 |
| #5 | Dylan Meta | 49% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ardy | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Vonツ | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Dylan Meta | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Bappers | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Sloths | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dylan Meta | 523 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | Ardy | 368 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Vonツ | 343 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Bappers | 305 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #5 | Sloths | 265 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ardy | +2.92 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | Bleeus | +1.13 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | Sloths | +0.92 | 70 | 53 |
| #4 | Bappers | +0.78 | 65 | 73 |
| #5 | Vonツ | +0.53 | 75 | 53 |





