








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 415 | 36% |
| Smokes | 173 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 294 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 265 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,428 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zÄpo vAc | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | inokks Swedens lost hope | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | ott1 | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Tocko 14Y/O | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Cybertronicl | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | chr1s | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | rice ✡ | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | Trick el Thåren | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | Sjak | 25% | 4 |
| #10 | jolly ✡ | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chr1s | 3 | 0.0175 |
| #2 | Trick el Thåren | 1 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | inokks Swedens lost hope | 42 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | rice ✡ | 39 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | ott1 | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Tocko 14Y/O | 22 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | jolly ✡ | 22 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tocko 14Y/O | +4.99 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | rice ✡ | +4.40 | 89 | 68 |
| #3 | zÄpo vAc | +3.41 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | chr1s | +1.97 | 74 | 32 |
| #5 | Spoox 3.0 | +0.04 | 86 | 51 |





