








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2030 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2033 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1270 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1256 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,141,589 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marcos alonso | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | chr1s | 50% | 228 |
| #3 | jolly ✡ | 49% | 223 |
| #4 | seanmco | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marcos alonso | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | chr1s | 50% | 228 |
| #3 | jolly ✡ | 49% | 223 |
| #4 | seanmco | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chr1s | 20 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | jolly ✡ | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | marcos alonso | 5 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jolly ✡ | 473 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | chr1s | 156 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #3 | marcos alonso | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | seanmco | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chr1s | +2.76 | 83 | 45 |
| #2 | rice ✡ | +2.38 | 79 | 56 |
| #3 | marcos alonso | -1.45 | 58 | 28 |
| #4 | seanmco | -2.33 | 53 | 43 |
| #5 | jolly ✡ | -4.36 | 49 | 45 |





