








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 734 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 429 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9011 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6608 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8324 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4239 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,548,758 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1793 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maitu | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | Valdo⣠| 60% | 35 |
| #3 | reid | 58% | 78 |
| #4 | anaz | 56% | 146 |
| #5 | Sanke | 56% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tapsuG | 36 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | mr negative | 26 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | stenu | 20 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | ššš¦kš„š¢š©š¦ | 17 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | aatos | 16 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr negative | 799 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #2 | stenu | 689 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | ššš¦kš„š¢š©š¦ | 685 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | tapsuG | 539 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #5 | anaz | 305 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matas | +2.73 | 71 | 83 |
| #2 | reid | +2.42 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | stenu | +1.56 | 77 | 78 |
| #4 | Sanke | +1.04 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | ššš¦kš„š¢š©š¦ | -0.42 | 53 | 72 |





