








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 234 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3139 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2980 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2128 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3109 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,487,733 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Starfy | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | merklitious | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | ThreaT | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | Axel | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | Adobe_Certified | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ThreaT | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | Axel | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | Adobe_Certified | 44% | 34 |
| #6 | C0br4 | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | Ap0lloZ | 40% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axel | 13 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | ThreaT | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Starfy | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Ap0lloZ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | merklitious | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ap0lloZ | 259 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | Axel | 226 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | C0br4 | 161 | 0.40 | 4 min |
| #4 | ThreaT | 135 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Adobe_Certified | 117 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Starfy | +2.36 | 92 | 48 |
| #2 | Axel | +1.62 | 84 | 64 |
| #3 | Adobe_Certified | +1.18 | 89 | 60 |
| #4 | Ap0lloZ | +1.12 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | ThreaT | +0.76 | 83 | 38 |





