








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,486 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 759 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1632 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 952 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1143 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $948,373 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luzz | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | Burns | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Trown | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | ThreaT | 54% | 140 |
| #5 | Jim | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | david | 50% | 24 |
| #7 | Starfy | 49% | 76 |
| #8 | TheCameraEye | 44% | 77 |
| #9 | cREAM | 34% | 29 |
| #10 | Schwiftyy | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThreaT | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Starfy | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | TheCameraEye | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Trown | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Burns | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThreaT | 249 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Starfy | 227 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | TheCameraEye | 144 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Luzz | 130 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | david | 87 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Starfy | +1.82 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | Luzz | +1.74 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | ThreaT | +1.61 | 83 | 39 |
| #4 | david | +1.46 | 91 | 55 |
| #5 | cREAM | +0.87 | 75 | 46 |





