








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 741 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 244 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2648 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2050 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1827 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1882 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,157,818 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★HittuLegend | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Zombie | 51% | 94 |
| #3 | Chet | 45% | 80 |
| #4 | =☢ nuke girl ☢= | 45% | 145 |
| #5 | Playing 1 Handed | 43% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | =☢ nuke girl ☢= | 45% | 145 |
| #5 | Playing 1 Handed | 43% | 144 |
| #6 | =𖦹 Mirage Man 𖦹= | 41% | 79 |
| #7 | SHAMMY | 38% | 32 |
| #8 | fent fairy | 32% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =☢ nuke girl ☢= | 34 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | Chet | 13 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Playing 1 Handed | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | fent fairy | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | ★HittuLegend | 5 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =☢ nuke girl ☢= | 400 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Playing 1 Handed | 272 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Chet | 244 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | =𖦹 Mirage Man 𖦹= | 90 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | fent fairy | 42 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★HittuLegend | +7.55 | 93 | 34 |
| #2 | =☢ nuke girl ☢= | +5.31 | 77 | 53 |
| #3 | Oskway | +1.45 | 68 | 51 |
| #4 | Chet | +1.37 | 60 | 53 |
| #5 | Zombie | +0.59 | 62 | 32 |





