








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 240 | 22% |
| Smokes | 154 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 326 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 386 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $320,463 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boinkyspoingy | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Noxdify | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | BABY CADE | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | HylianLink | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | sponk | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sponk | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | BABY CADE | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Noxdify | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Pirate Punkass | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noxdify | +2.64 | 91 | 60 |
| #2 | sponk | +2.22 | 78 | 55 |
| #3 | boinkyspoingy | +1.79 | 74 | 23 |
| #4 | HylianLink | +1.70 | 63 | 53 |
| #5 | Benj1n0 | -0.58 | 61 | 41 |





