








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 268 | 17% |
| Smokes | 342 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 485 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 464 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $405,025 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tripityy | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | Grauzejss šauj kebabus | 38% | 32 |
| #7 | ☆ SpongeBong ☆ | 29% | 31 |
| #8 | Kabijs | 25% | 12 |
| #9 | Shaitan | 24% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaitan | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Робчик | 4 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | ElkWenn | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Grauzejss šauj kebabus | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | ☆ SpongeBong ☆ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grauzejss šauj kebabus | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | ElkWenn | 41 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Shaitan | 41 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | ☆ SpongeBong ☆ | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kabijs | 24 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kabijs | +2.05 | 54 | 64 |
| #2 | Робчик | +2.00 | 36 | 50 |
| #3 | Grauzejss šauj kebabus | +0.98 | 56 | 54 |
| #4 | Shaitan | -0.12 | 30 | 58 |
| #5 | RA | -0.20 | 58 | 36 |





