








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1861 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 167 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




176 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15457 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6677 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6403 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 8642 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 9039 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,893,037 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Havit.lsd | 53% | 299 |
| #2 | Kabijs | 47% | 115 |
| #3 | Shaitan | 46% | 153 |
| #4 | ☆ SpongeBong ☆ | 46% | 358 |
| #5 | Grauzejss šauj kebabus | 45% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Havit.lsd | 494 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | ☆ SpongeBong ☆ | 366 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #3 | Grauzejss šauj kebabus | 336 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kabijs | 252 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Shaitan | 178 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kabijs | +0.80 | 58 | 68 |
| #2 | Робчик | +0.70 | 37 | 43 |
| #3 | Shaitan | -0.62 | 29 | 58 |
| #4 | ☆ SpongeBong ☆ | -0.80 | 25 | 51 |
| #5 | Grauzejss šauj kebabus | -0.82 | 45 | 54 |





