








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 850 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4596 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3617 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1284 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2697 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,105,750 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomminter | 60% | 48 |
| #2 | Eugene Cumberbatch | 51% | 89 |
| #3 | Razar | 50% | 356 |
| #4 | michael2k | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | Brucie | 46% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | michael2k | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | Brucie | 46% | 211 |
| #6 | Santymire | 46% | 92 |
| #7 | tiny hands | 43% | 72 |
| #8 | TheDreaM | 19% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Razar | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Eugene Cumberbatch | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | tiny hands | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Santymire | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Brucie | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Razar | 833 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #2 | Brucie | 408 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | Eugene Cumberbatch | 317 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | tiny hands | 257 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tomminter | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0rdecai | +3.05 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | Brucie | +0.76 | 82 | 66 |
| #3 | Tomminter | +0.15 | 68 | 44 |
| #4 | Razar | -0.30 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | Eugene Cumberbatch | -0.41 | 58 | 64 |





