








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1640 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1821 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1697 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1202 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $507,984 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Bubz | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | Ma1ce | 65% | 51 |
| #3 | kvorn1ng | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | Peress0 | 55% | 75 |
| #5 | Patrick Clover | 52% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Peress0 | 55% | 75 |
| #5 | Patrick Clover | 52% | 52 |
| #6 | RavneFar | 49% | 45 |
| #7 | Jasima14 | 43% | 28 |
| #8 | Bollemester | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ma1ce | 22 | 0.0208 |
| #2 | Peress0 | 21 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Patrick Clover | 20 | 0.0188 |
| #4 | Bollemester | 7 | 0.0129 |
| #5 | Mr.Bubz | 6 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peress0 | 190 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | RavneFar | 119 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ma1ce | 112 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | kvorn1ng | 70 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mr.Bubz | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ma1ce | +5.50 | 88 | 62 |
| #2 | kvorn1ng | +3.33 | 89 | 65 |
| #3 | F1mple | +1.36 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | Peress0 | +0.27 | 54 | 59 |
| #5 | Mr.Bubz | -0.02 | 45 | 58 |





