








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1704 | 43% |
| Smokes | 606 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 657 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1038 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,820 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 464 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kïrø-DiCaprio | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Nova.GGs | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | dames ツ | 64% | 44 |
| #4 | SagesDope | 60% | 68 |
| #5 | Syn | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Blue Partyhat | 48% | 23 |
| #10 | ꜱɪʀ ɢʀɪꜰꜰɪ | 45% | 38 |
| #11 | Ekim225 | 44% | 9 |
| #12 | ✭𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖊𝖊✭ | 39% | 23 |
| #13 | ⭕⃤𝚃𝚞𝚛𝚋0 | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SagesDope | 11 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | ✭𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖊𝖊✭ | 5 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | dames ツ | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | ♥ cherry | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤𝚃𝚞𝚛𝚋0 | 2 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dames ツ | 150 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | SagesDope | 132 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Blue Partyhat | 72 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gremlin | 56 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kïrø-DiCaprio | 52 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✭𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖊𝖊✭ | +7.18 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | Blue Partyhat | +5.09 | 67 | 49 |
| #3 | Gremlin | +3.17 | 44 | 58 |
| #4 | SagesDope | +3.04 | 33 | 42 |
| #5 | Kïrø-DiCaprio | +1.36 | 21 | 59 |





